Chapter 11: Getting, Gaining, Assuming, and Maintaining Control

i-gettinggainingassumingandAfter the long, emotional roller coaster that is divorce, the final step is the ability to recognize the progress that you have made in regaining control of your life. All the advice, do’s and don’ts, and quizzes in this book lead up to the moment you realize that control is no longer in the hands of your ex, which is a significant accomplishment deserving praise. It is important to remember that when it comes to divorce: It is all always about control.

Chapter 11 Sample Excerpt:

Tad walked into the courtroom, his legs carrying him, but barely. They felt leaden… It was as if, he told me later, he was plodding his way through a swamp.

It was the big day. He and his former wife had gone several rounds in mediation and had made no progress at all during eighteen months of purported negotiations.

She wanted physical custody of their three children and the lion’s share of his business, claiming she had put him through college, graduate school, and after that, had helped him run his sports medicine clinic by establishing and building the business’ customer base. She had also given up her career as a model to stay home and raise their children, though at that time in their lives Tad continued to enjoy the limelight as a former football star. When they finally opened the clinic, she also served on staff for no pay. It was time for Stella to cash in. Or, at least, that is the way she saw it.

When Tad’s ex entered the courtroom, she made a grand entrance. The former NFL cheerleader was attired in an unbeatable UmaThurman-dressed-to-kill winter-white Anne Klein suit.

She confidently followed her attorney to the plaintiff ‘s table, her head held high, the obvious tilt of her nose leading the way. She looked like she had just stepped off the cover of a fashion magazine. Everyone in the courtroom was struck by her.

Even the judge.

Tad had been easily intimidated by Stella, not only throughout their fifteen year marriage, but also during the entire mediation process.

The couple had been unable to resolve their issues and the case had escalated to a full court battle-a Legal War.

Stella felt she had the upper hand. She was not about to let go of her divorce “objectives,” and knowing Tad as she did, she felt she could grind him into submission. If she couldn’t, she was counting on the court to do it for her. Up to this point, she refused to accept defeat.

As Stella began to sit, she shot Tad a “catch me if you can” look. Tad sat straight in his chair. He appeared to be unaffected by her entrance. The look on his face did not, in the least, give him away. Inwardly he was feeling demoralized, hopeless and shaken. Outwardly, he looked as tough as he did as an NFL linebacker. He looked to be a formidable foe.