Chapter 10: Thank You, Mr. Letterman

Top Ten Lists

i-thankyoumrlettermanThis chapter offers advice, in the form of “Top Ten Lists,” for practicing self-control in the actions you take and the words you speak throughout the divorcing process. Oftentimes, what we say or do in a moment of frustration or anger can negatively affect the results of a trial. Additionally, this chapter offers humorous, although legitimate, “Top Ten Lists” that reflect on the pros and cons of marriage and relationships.

Chapter 10 Sample Excerpt:

“And another thing: your father is an idiot. A complete and total idiot, and I can’t even believe I ever married him. What was wrong with me?” sneered the spurned housewife, letting go of the steering wheel momentarily to gesture to the heavens, arms outstretched above her head. Her seven-year-old daughter in the back seat began to cry. Her nine-year-old son tried to distract her. “Hey, mom, we’re gonna win at soccer today, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, if we ever get there.” She threw the sarcastic remark over her shoulder. “Your father is so stupid. What part of ‘return the kids by no later than three so I can get them to soccer on time’ do you think he didn’t understand?”

Showing zero mercy to her daughter, “What are you crying about?” “I hate it when you and daddy say bad things about each other,” she said, wiping the tears and her nose with her sweater sleeve.

Backing off, “Well if he just wasn’t so self-centered and full of himself…”

The poor children, they still had another ten minutes to go before they reached the soccer field.